A. If your engagement is being announced at an engagement party, neither your name nor your fiance's should appear on the invitation, as that would likely give away the surprise. The invitations read as though they are not for any special event other than to enjoy the company of family and good friends.

A. When an engagement party is hosted by friends of your parents, the invitations are issued by your parents' friends so their names appear on the first line of the invitation. Your parents' names are not mentioned.

A. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner was held for just the wedding party in order to get them fed after the rehearsal -- and to give the bride's mother one less thing to be responsible for. While many rehearsal dinners are still reserved for the wedding party, others have expanded to include the wedding party, their spouses or dates, and out-of-town guests.

A. The invitations are sent two weeks before the wedding.

A. While it is equally correct to use "at the marriage of their children" and "at the marriage of," many people feel that if a couple is old enough to get married, they are no longer children.

A. Although both ways are proper and many older invitations use all lowercase letters on the year line, almost all invitations nowadays capitalize the first letter. This usage is so common that not to do it might make it look as though your stationer forgot to capitalize the first letter. Furthermore, your invitations will look more polished if the first letter of the year is capitalized.

A. In mathematics "and" denotes a decimal point, and since there is no decimal point in the year "2001," it may seem incorrect to use "and." Wedding invitations, however, are not mathematical equations so the use of "and" as a decimal point is irrelevant. On wedding invitations "and" is used simply as a connective word.

A. Invitations are never properly sent with announcements. Your wedding and your late reception are separate events that require separate mailings.

A. Receptions that take place after the wedding day are not considered wedding receptions. They are simply parties in honor of the couple. The party is an event that is not a part of your wedding, so it requires separate invitations and a separate mailing.

A. Traditionally, you are "given away" by your parents. Therefore, it is generally only the names of your natural parents that properly appear on your wedding invitations, although, of course, there are exceptions. One obvious exception involves a bride who was adopted, in which case the names of the parents who raised her appear. Another exception to the rule can occur when the bride's mother was widowed and remarried when the bride was at a relatively young age. Although her stepfather never adopted her, he did help to raise her and, in effect, acted as her father. In such case, it is appropriate for his name to appear on the invitations.

A. Etiquette should never be adhered to at the cost of damaging a relationship. Its purpose is to build relationships, not to harm them. There are ways to handle any situation that will accommodate everybody involved.

Since it is not proper for the name of your father's wife to appear on the invitations, a nice compromise might be to word the invitations properly with just your parents' names on them while including the name of your father's wife on the reception cards. This way, she is listed with your parents as one of the hosts of the reception. By doing this, she is given a place of honor on the reception cards while the invitations are still worded properly.

If you choose to do this, your mother's name would be on the first line for the reception card. The second line would have the names of your father and his wife. The remainder of the card reads, "request the pleasure of your company / at the marriage reception" followed by the date, time, and place.

A. Traditionally, the Bride's parents send the invitation. Therefore, their names appear on the first line of the invitation. If the Groom’s parents are sharing in a substantial cost of the wedding their names appear on line 2. Note lines 1 and 2 are not separated by the word “and”. In situations of divorce, multiple sets of parents you may consider using “Together with their families” or “Together with their parents”… modern wording that reflects the complexity of blended families in a most welcoming way.

A. The invitation includes the following:

• INVITATION
• OUTER ENVELOPE with the return address of the host printed or embossed on the envelope flap
• INNER ENVELOPE, usually lined and unsealed
• RSVP CARD/ENVELOPE: The address of the person receiving the reply is pre-printed on the envelope face and it is pre-stamped by the host
• RECEPTION CARD: Used when the reception (party) is at a different location from where the marriage ceremony will take place
• MAP/DIRECTION CARD/ACCOMMODATION CARD: Optional - paper selection should coordinate with the invitation if they are included in the envelope.

A. Depending on the complexity of your selection, invitations take 10 days to 3 months to produce. The average is about 4 weeks. As soon as your dates and approximate number of guests are firm, you should order your invitations. Be sure to leave plenty of time to have the envelopes hand addressed by a calligrapher, or by you.

A . Take the total number of people you will invite and divide by 65%. This will account for single guests, and some extras. Remember you do not need one invitation per guest, but rather, one invitation per couple. Children living at home who are over 18 years of age should receive their own invitation. Be sure to order enough invitations. It costs very little to order an additional 25 when you place the original order, and it is very expensive to create a new order for just 25 pieces.

A. If you are changing your name, you may not use your new name until you are married. A monogram is best reserved for thank you notes, or, if used on the invitation, should reflect the bride and groom’s first initials. After the marriage, when using a monogram your initials appear in this order: The first letter of your last name is in the center and is larger. The first letter of the woman’s first name is placed to the left and the first letter of the man’s first name is placed to the right. Example: M W S Mary and Steven Wilson

A. NO!!! Thank you notes cannot be e-mailed and must be mailed for each and every gift you receive, even bridal shower gifts. Be sure to order thank you notes when you order your invitations. Take advantage of quantity pricing, the more you order, the lower the cost per piece. Remember, a proper thank you never goes out of style.

A. If you send a Save the Date packet, you may include directions in it. You may also include it with the invitation. It should be an insert card made of card stock that matches the other insert cards (Rsvp, reception). It should have matching fonts for headings and a simple font, such as Times or Copperplate, for the text. Keep it short...too many details are confusing. We have also found that verbal directions are often more helpful than maps.

A. Almost always, because of weight and size. Be sure to take a complete invitation to the post office and have it weighed to determine proper postage requirements. Remember, postage is a tiny portion of the wedding/invitation cost and should not affect your invitation selection.

A. The invitation should be mailed six to eight weeks ahead. For summer weekends, holiday weekends, and out of town weddings eight weeks ahead is recommended. If your wedding is during a particularly busy time of year (holiday weekends) consider sending a "Save the Date" card well in advance of your invitation mailing.